How to Understand Your Teenager's Insecurities Today

With all the hormones racing in their changing and growing bodies, it’s no wonder that teenagers to this day remain a puzzle and a mystery unsolved. Generally, teenagers have had it rough because they’re trying to find their place in the world; their parents are trying to guide them, their school or friends are influencing them, and their own lost and confused thoughts are overpowering.

It was pretty simple: Blame it on the hormones, everyone said.

How to Understand Your Teenager's Insecurities Today

However, today’s teens are unlike yesteryear’s teenagers. They’re exposed to a myriad of factors that can affect their self-esteem, causing severe insecurities that they can carry all the way to adulthood. So, before you judge a teenager for the strange things they do, consider the following insecurities and walk a mile in their shoes first.

Body Image and Weight

Body image and weight have always been the number one insecurity among teenagers since the dawn of time. Ever since the idea of a ‘thigh-gap’ appeared, or any other ‘beauty’ trend, it forces today’s teenagers to question their own bodies. Studies have shown that children ages 8-12 start recognizing their body image issues and some of them already develop anti-fat bias as well as comparison with others and dissatisfaction with their own body. This dissatisfaction increases as their body go through puberty and then they can become insecure teenagers.

Nowadays, it’s fairly easy for teenagers to become exposed to a number of interchangeable beauty standards that affect how they view themselves. Everyone wants the Kardashian booty with the stick-thin 90s model look. The fact that their exposure has developed from magazines to hundreds of social media accounts only added fuel to the fire; it only takes a swipe through Instagram to realize that they’re unhappy with the way they look. And no matter how many ‘body positivity’ accounts exist, the thought of looking absolutely flawless is ingrained in their brains. This is something that they carry into their teenage years if not handled in a healthy manner. One way to nip body image in the bud if your child is borderline overweight is to consider fat camps for kids ; they will be able to create a community for children and teens where it’s okay to accept your body and lose weight in a healthy way that will keep it off. This community also deals with self-esteem issues due to weight or treating body image issues.

Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem

Because today’s teenagers are overly exposed to other means of lifestyles, it’s not hard comparing themselves to anyone with something better. The media’s ways of reminding everyone what they need and what they’re missing out on is causing today’s teenagers to doubt their current life or worse, they start doubting themselves.

A teenager is often pressured by their society to do better ; their schools are pushing them to be great and to act a certain way, and their parents are pushing them even further. Teenagers need to find themselves, but when this pressure occurs, they end up self-doubting who they really are and if they can actually become that person everyone wishes them to be. Studies have shown that a large percentage of teenagers doubt themselves and they don’t even share their doubts with their parents or friends. They believe that they’re not good enough or can’t measure up in regards to their weight, appearance, intelligence, or even performance in school.

Anxiety and Stress

Everyone faces stress and anxiety occasionally in their lives; however, an insecure person often faces it more than others normally would, let alone an insecure teenager. The thing about anxiety is that it’s easy to feed their insecurities even further and vice versa. One small situation can actually cause a meltdown, and they might resort to a self-destruction coping mechanism.

Today’s teenagers are often worried or stressed about finding their own place in the world; they can compare themselves to other successful peers and wonder why they’re not the same. They live in a competitive world where everyone has to be the best at everything, and this can cause stress and anxiety because they feel that they have something to prove. Everyone wants to be rich, beautiful, and get accepted to an Ivy League university and get a fancy job later on. Naturally, a secure person would find his/her own place in the world with ease. However, an insecure teenager would find it hard to cope and can develop a myriad of mental health issues because they’re unable to handle their anxiety and stress.

Fear of Social Judgment

Peer pressure can often lead to a fear of being judged. When teenagers face this kind of pressure, they might end up doing something they’re not ready for. It could range from a simple thing like lying to their parents, all the way to sex and drugs. If their peers are doing it, why shouldn’t they?

Teenagers don’t like to feel like the odd one out; it’s difficult establishing a social life when you’re an outcast. They’re afraid of being bullied, judged, or ridiculed. Teens also like to please everyone around them, which can make it difficult becoming their own person. They’re afraid of being a failure, rejected, not loved, or becoming alone, so they can sacrifice who they are or could be because they want to please their parents or friends.

What You Can Do

If you have a teenage daughter or son, you need to be able to communicate with them and open bridges of communication. Understanding who they’re trying to be and trying to find a calling for themselves is not an easy thing to do. Part of maturing is facing these insecurities and dealing with them as they develop and grow. However, if these insecurities aren’t dealt with, it can manifest into other things like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and anything else that has a negative impact on their lives. Keep your eyes open for symptoms and signs that your teenager is insecure and suffering from crippling self-esteem issues.



It’s natural to face occasional self-esteem issues as a teenager, but it’s something you should be aware of if a teen’s insecurities are getting in the way of leading the lifestyle they deserve. Teenagers today don’t only deal with hormones and puberty, but they also face a number of life-altering factors that can feed into their insecurities. Therefore, knowing how to help your child deal with this, will help them become stronger and more secure adults.

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