Recently, my friend Kent sent me a piece of paper with the following note:
“Cardio vs. Conditioning: There is a difference“
There was no author or claim to who wrote it and after searching on Google I wasn't able to find anything under the title. But it made me laugh pretty hard and I felt a need to share it with everyone.
The following is what's the difference between cardio and conditioning.
(Note: for all the runners out there, I'm still and always will be, envious of your ability to run 5k, 10k, or any other distances… you inspire me – but this was too funny not to post)
Cardio vs Conditioning (author: Chris Shugart)
We could start here by listing all the studies about the drawbacks of long duration cardio and running. The we could list all the studies that show the benefits of shorter, high intensity conditioning sessions.
There would be lots of fancy acronyms and PubMed links. You’d feel smart reading it, but most likely you wouldn't apply any of it. Plus that would be boring. So let’s make the distinction between cardio and conditioning like this:
- Conditioning prepares you for battle. Cardio makes you really good at running slowly away.
- Conditioning fires up the metabolism. Cardio extinguishing it over time.
- Conditioning makes a man look good naked. Cardio makes a man look good in lavender skinny jeans and not much else.
- Conditioning builds legs of steel. Cardio builds legs of an underfed seabird.
- Conditioning makes you lean and hard. Cardio makes you small and soft.
- Conditioning gives you an upper body made of stone. Cardio gives you an upper body made of twigs and J-E-L-L-O!
- Conditioning makes you better an any physical activity. Cardio makes you good at cardio.
- Conditioning is sex. Cardio is cuddling and a chick-flick.
- Conditioning is testosterone. Cardio is cortisol and estrogen.
- Conditioning is pecs. Cardio is man-boobs.
- Conditioning is Westside Barbell. Cardio is Planet Fitness.
- Conditioning relieves anxiety, boosts all-day energy and fires up brain function. Cardio increases anxiety and cortisol. (Runners are only happy when they run. The rest of the time they’re miserable unless they are running or talking about running. True story)
- Conditioning is fun. Cardio is fun when it’s over.
- Conditioning is for hunters. Cardio is for Bambi’s mom.
- In short, conditioning is for predators. Cardio is for prey.