When Brad messaged me last night that he had a guest post to submit for consideration, I thought “Awesome!”

But, once I received the draft in my inbox, I realized it was a post that would definitely get some people laughing. And! Not only laughing, but more than likely talking about the plethora of CrossFit innuendos, a culture that's littered with vulgar t-shirts, and of course, that je ne sais quo that “brings all the CrossFitters to the yard”. Hope you enjoy the read and have a good chuckle over some of the crazy things CrossFitters say.

~ Coach Moose

crossfit pickup lines

Whoa Observer.com, I just read that you think crossfitters have more sex.

I think you may have misread the profiles of CrossFit athletes. We are clearly into monogamous relationships.

Let me clarify a few things you may have seen on our profiles.

I didn't date these girls

I know I said I can do Fran in 2:30 seconds, and that I hated her immediately following, but I think you may have misinterpreted what I meant by that.

Angie, Barbara, Chelsea, Diane, and Elizabeth are not my girlfriends. These are the women I dislike. Just because I said they do me dirty all the time, doesn't mean what you think it means.

And, the common vernacular in CrossFit doesn't help matters. Here's just an example of some of the *stuff* CrossFitters say:

CrossFit T-shirts Confuse the Masses…

[highlight color=”yellow”]Warning: some of these shirts are a bit cheeky[/highlight]

There's 1000's of shirts like these… littered by innuendo after innuendo. If I was to play Devil's advocate, I can see why Match.com might have gotten a little confused. (Just check out the latest Amazon search for proof of that)

Snatch, Clean and Jerk and other Innuendos

Innuendo Defined:

Define Innuendo

OK, OK, OK! I know what it sounds like:

If you show me your snatch, I'll come in your box. When I get sick of snatches, I jerk it. Pounded 45 snatches before breakfast – It's gonna be a good day. Hey, Wanna see my snatch? It's clean. Don't blow your WOD on the first snatch. Eat clean, train dirty. Jerk it, clean it, snatch it, squat it. I love snatch. This girl has a nice snatch. Show me your snatch and I will show you mine. Like my rack, you should see my snatch.

We are talking about Olympic lifting here people. Clearly.

Read between the lines.

“WOD” we talking about?

Workout of the day people. Not something else. If it meant something else and I was posting it on my match.com profile, I think I would be getting less dates.

Post WOD exhaustion.... photo care of CrossFit Revelation

Post WOD exhaustion…. photo care of CrossFit Revelation

Just because I always take my shirt off and then WOD, doesn't mean I took my pants off too.

I know I said I am hot and sweaty afterwards and I am laying on my back trying to catch my breath. I could see how that could be confusing in your profile on match.com.

lets hit the "CrossFit" bar

Meet me at the bar

I could see how this could get confusing. Meet me at the bar and I am going to start doing a thruster. Thruster is one word. If I would have posted it in two words, that may have talked about my sex life, but I didn't do that. You need to check your sources match.com.

I hope that clears it up. Now I can go have a little sip of my daily WODka.

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Brad_Chase_HeadshotAuthor Bio: A little bit about Brad Chase

“I am a catholic, a husband, a dad, and a CrossFit athlete. Thanks for reading my article. I have been doing CrossFit since 2007 and I have a Level 1 certificate which makes me clearly qualified to talk about CrossFit. I have competed at regionals on a team in the Northwest and in Canada West. I also created a warm-up and mobility generator called WarmobilitY.”


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