"Open and Read" a story of going for it by James P. Burns III

“The only thing that can last forever
Is the impact you give away
Give all your love and talents
Because death will take them anyway
Wherever the journey takes you
Reflect on the pleasure and pain
Toast to the winds that carried you
Celebrate the moments in the rain”

~Excerpt from “Open and Read” by James P. Burns III

The day started like so many others, the sun rose on cue, coffee filled my mug, and I reflected on the upcoming day ahead of me. Although it was just another morning, it was different than any other day I’d had. It was my first book signing for Open and Read , featuring 101 poetic rules to live by.



I thought back to the day everything changed, almost 4 years ago. At only 22 years of age, I’d done exactly as I was told up to that point in my life. I went to college, got a degree, got a job, got a car, saved money, bought a house, and started my life.

My diploma told me I was a Mechanical Engineer, my business cards said I was a Sales Engineer, my garage housed a company car, and about 30 pages of paperwork reminded me that I was homeowner. With all the “things” I had, my heart felt just like the home I lived in; it was empty. Deep down I knew that something was missing in my life.

"If you take a step towards your dreams, then you'll always be on your way..."

It’s amazing how quickly life can change.

I remember it like it was yesterday, I was in training for my job when I got a call from my manager; the words echo in my head:

“We decided that you’re being relocated to Detroit, MI” -Corporate Management

Stunned and unsure how to react, I responded, “Is that a joke, or are you serious?” They we serious all right. I drove back home and stared blankly at a wall for the next 30 minutes. Over the next few weeks I was reminded that it was a great “opportunity” for my career. Even though I was feeling uncertain about the move, I approached the new challenge with a positive attitude as I began life after college.

[tweet_box design="box_12"]"If you're waiting until you feel talented enough to make it, you'll never make it." -Criss Jami[/tweet_box]

I began bringing a lot of negative things into my life during the first year I lived in Detroit. Distractions and cravings began to mask my feelings of unhappiness.

Looking back, there were many things I overcame and it all started from a single moment. On December 28, 2012 I created a journal entry titled, “In Case of a Bad Day: Open and Read.” This entry started as a list of rules to help guide me so that I could find the "right way to live."

I didn’t know it at the time, but those “rules” were a path toward the answer I was looking for. Beyond all the unfortunate decisions I'd made during that first year in Detroit, the list of rules was my attempt to find meaning in my life. But there was one problem...I had no clue what I was meant to do or how to get there.

What does "Change" mean to you?

People tend to think it takes a year, or some crazy amount of time to change your life; I’d argue that’s not true, it only takes a moment. It may take years and persistence to carry out a dream or vision, but it takes a single second to make a change. It only takes one moment to say, “I’m sorry,” or “I love you,” or “lets begin.” It was in that moment that I made a deliberate choice toward the life I imagined. It was at that very second that I chose to surrender to my dreams even though I wasn’t sure what those dreams were.

I chased everything my imagination could think of. I had played College Soccer in Wisconsin, USA and I reflected back to the dream of playing professional soccer. I began training as if my life depended on it in an attempt to reach that dream. (Watch “Rise and Shine: The Jay DeMerit Story" and you’ll see why I was inspired to play soccer again). I chased dreams of being a musician even though I had never played the guitar before, so I spent every extra minute I had attached to a guitar and began taking singing lessons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghBM-3y629E

In an attempt to understand how dreams were reached, I plastered my bedroom ceiling with all kinds of inspiration and motivational quotes. I knew there were great minds through history that knew much more that I did, I needed to learn from them. I believed that if I got closer to becoming the best version of myself, I’d be a step closer to reaching my purpose and dreams.

[caption id="attachment_20888" align="aligncenter" width="842"]My ceiling of inspiration...[/caption]

At the time, I was a bit overweight and just began recovering from knee surgery. My ACL, MCL, and meniscus were torn but I was far too determined to let that stop me. Every morning, I forced myself to get up at 5am and go to gym before work. I’d limp into the gym and do anything my body was able to do. I hated it the first 3 weeks, but after that 3rd week, I began loving my time there; it was where I found a sense of serenity. My motivation grew and I started craving a new challenge.

My limp was starting to fade and I was walking better without a brace. This gave me the idea to begin running in a pool. The pool I found was at a neighboring apartment complex located outside; it was March in Detroit and absolutely freezing. The winter snow had barely melted to create a semi-full pool of ice-cold water. For 5 days straight at 5 am, I “ran” back and forth in the ice water up to my shoulders wearing a swimsuit and long sleeve under-armor. Why 5 days? I figured anyone could do it once, so I made myself do it again. As soon as I did it twice, I thought, well anyone can do this twice, so I did it again…. I said that for 5 days in a row.

What does it take to chase a dream?

The most challenging obstacle I overcame through my journey was my battle with anxiety. I'd been suffering from weekly panic attacks since I'd started college.  After a few years of battling it on my own, my anxiety attacks became too frequent to ignore, so I was prescribed two kinds of medicine to help.  First, I'd take a daily pill to help balance my serotonin levels, the other pill was to be taken during an anxiety attack to calm myself down.

If you've never had a panic attack, it's quite easy to describe - it's terrifying. The pills helped a little but they affected my life in other ways.  They created a false sense of happiness which allowed me to lose ambition toward my dreams and goals.  The medicine made me feel as if "all was well," even when it wasn't.  Once the medicine started to fade, I began to worry again, and the worrying soon turned into a panic...that meant more medicine.

Like every other obstacle along the way, I was determined to beat it; the gym cured my anxiety.  Slowly but surely, my 5 am workouts turned into a mindful meditation experience since barely anyone worked out that early.  I loaded my iPod with all kinds of motivational speeches and thoughtful podcasts while I worked out. Lifting gave me the sense of permanence I was looking for in my life to balance my anxiety.  It allowed me to get off my medicine, and I've never taken it since.

Before I knew it, the gym and the “rules” I was writing had become an addiction. I wasn’t sure of the dream I was chasing at the time, but I looked forward to writing and working out more than anything else in the world. Everything that stood in my way from progressing stopped immediately: partying, drinking, TV, girls, junk food, negative friends, etc.

I pursued every dream I imagined wholeheartedly for at least 3 weeks since that’s how long it took for me to fall in love with the gym. I forced myself to become obsessed with each vision. After 3 weeks of chasing a specific dream, if I found myself failing to feel connected to that goal then I realized I was pursuing it for the wrong reasons. The dreams of soccer and guitar were based on fame and money, not passion or love. Each attempt was spent furiously charging toward the dreams I imagined impatient with anger. It was as if I wanted those dreams to submit to me.

What I needed was the exact opposite. I needed a dream that I could submit to. I began searching for meaning so I could understand “why” I was doing what I was doing.

[tweet_box design="box_12"]"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." -Nelson Mandela[/tweet_box]

It got to a point where I couldn’t wait to sleep at 8pm because I was so excited to wake up in the morning and lift; it was a beautiful obsession. Feelings of inspiration and motivation connected my metal thoughts with the physical nature of fitness. The ideas I wrote began to astound me. I was amazed that I could create such beautiful verses through poetry.

There were periods where my motivation fell stagnant. During those lulls I searched for new ways to re-energize my inspiration. I bought a small chalkboard and wrote messages to myself before my morning workouts.

The messages were based on 3 questions :

1. What do you fear today?


2. What do you love today?


3. Why are you doing this?

Each day I took a picture of the message and printed it out to tape behind my bed. My room was turning into a cave of inspiration as I searched for whom I was and what I was meant for. By the time I left Detroit, there were too many pictures on the wall to count.

The entire time I was pursuing my dreams, the list of “rules to live by” continually grew. It led me to fall in love with writing, working out, and my search for meaning. I had no clue what I was doing at the time, but I was writing a book...my book. I was writing “Open and Read.”

My book, "Open and Read", was an exercise in personal discovery, not invention

As I continued to search for advice and guidance from books, films, speeches, quotes, and social media, I stumbled across Dai’s Blog. I began to follow what he was doing and I sent him the following message having never met or talked to him before:



I have no clue why I reached out to Dai, but I figured it might help encourage him even though he was a leader I looked up to. We exchanged a few messages before I eventually shared the “rules to live by” with him; he was the first person to encourage me to publish it.

I’d never thought that such a poetic book could be even published. As soon as I realized it was possible, it became my new dream and was exactly what I had been searching for in my life.

By no means was I perfect through the journey, it was quite the opposite. It was a difficult 4 years where I learned that every painful day is an opportunity to learn and grow. I began to trust all of my struggles, but most importantly, to trust the struggles that I didn’t understand.

“Have patience with the unresolved
Among whatever you go through
You’ll never find the answers
Which cannot be given to you”

Each time I fell, I found a way to get back up. Every time I felt lost, I knew there was a place to be found. Each time there was a problem, I knew there was an answer. I spent those years searching for what I was meant to do relentlessly as if my life depended on it… because it did. My entire life transformed because I made a decision to fight for the life I imagined.

From Dream to Manifestation: It all starts with a vision...

[caption id="attachment_20918" align="aligncenter" width="602"] Left, Dec 2012 --- Right, July 2015 in Mykonos, Greece sponsored by Jay DeMerit's  Portmanteau Stereo Company [/caption]

Fast forward to this past October of 2015. I was getting ready for my first book signing in San Diego, CA. The day felt as if I was preparing for an important collegiate soccer game; I was nervously excited. Just like my college soccer career, I couldn’t wait for the whistle to blow so I could start signing books.

[tweet_box float="right" width="45%" design="box_9"]"Let go of your past. Start making history!" -Julie Connor[/tweet_box]Once I arrived, I made an effort to break the tension between myself and the current customers in the coffee store. I walked around to everyone and set a book on their table. After a quick elevator pitch, I explained that I wanted to leave a book on each table so that anyone who sat there through the day could check it out. This was a subtle way to give each current customer the opportunity to see my book without being forceful. Like clockwork, every customer stopped what they were doing, picked up the book, and began reading. I sat back down and watched everyone read; - my heart melted.

The years I spent writing the book flashed through my mind. I loved every second as I witnessed what was happening. It didn’t even matter that I hadn't signed any books yet, everyone was reading what I wrote.

All the challenging days began to make sense. Every restless night, all the struggles, and every moment chasing a sense of purpose was worth it. The insincere dreams I once had began to fall by the wayside, while my passion and reason behind my writing was pure, I wanted to impact my life and the life of others.

I was brought back to reality in the coffee shop when a woman came up and asked what the book was about; I told her my story and just like that, I sold my first signed copy of “Open and Read.” I met all kinds of people that day and I stayed at the book signing until the sun went down; I secretly never wanted to leave.

It’s quite ironic because I never wrote with the intent to be an “author,” I wrote because it gives my life meaning. The story you read about my journey is interwoven within the book I wrote,  Open and Read. Writing helped me realize that we need to stop asking what we’re meant for and rather show the world what we’re meant to do through our choices, talents, and actions.

Always be dreaming - by day, and by night...

So what’s my dream now?

Of course, I dream that this book will be heard and that maybe the world will read it. I’m determined and willing to do everything I can to see if the book “makes it,” but above all, I’ve learned that every struggle is simply an opportunity. At only 26 years old, there's so much left to learn, but one recurring theme I discover over and over is that we must “find” ourselves many times through life. I managed to write a book which I’m very proud of, but I also know that there are still many challenges I have yet to face in life. I’ll be prepared to fight for the life I imagine - whatever I may encounter. Through adversity and success, I’ll continue to pursue my dreams. Either way, I won’t stop writing.

“Integrity must be forceful
As you lose sight of the shore
Never forget who you are
Or the things that you stand for
Because the waves will get rough
And dark clouds will start to form
The world will try to change you
As you battle through its storm

Chase your dreams to their sunsets
Pursue the dawns until you thrive
Life is a fight to the death
An endless struggle to feel alive
And if you start to feel lost
Listen to your intuition
It’s destiny’s whisper
Awaken it with ambition”

As I reflect on my journey, I’m often surprised at how I was able to push myself further than I imagined possible. The extreme nature of my obsessive motivation and inspiration helped remind me of the importance of balance. The journey required me to spend many days and nights alone devoted to improving myself; it was a difficult but important challenge. Overall, it was an intense personal experience that helped me change my life and I'm thankful for family and friends like Dai who were there to help me along the way.

Above all, hopefully my journey can be a reminder to never stop fighting for your dreams and the life you imagine. If you support this post or my book, please share the story and/or the links to my book. Always remember, it only takes a single moment to change your life. And if you feel lost or confused, just take a step toward your dreams, then you’ll always be on your way.

78. No Struggle, No Progress

“Seventy-eight is falling seven times
But standing up eight
Like muscles getting stronger
When torn by more weight
Examine how a flower is created
It must first battle the dirt
Like how momentum needs friction
You must use what hurts

Someday you’ll look back
And understand each past chore
Because the only things worth having
Are those worth fighting for
Be relentless like the sun
Every morning it fights for its dawn
Rise through the darkness
And face your struggles head on”

I’ll be headed to Vancouver, Canada for a book signing at the end of January 2016 where I begin my next journey. Follow me on Facebook / Instagram at Jimboweekend and/or my blog at Jimboweekend.com for updates about book signings.

Here are the links for my book:  Free E-copy ,  Paperback  and Hardcover.  Email me at jpburnsiii@gmail.com to purchase signed copies for the holidays.

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Author Bio:

James Burns is a freelance writer, blogger, poet, former collegiate athlete, and mechanical engineer who grew up in Appleton, Wisconsin and currently lives in Salt Lake City, UT. Simply stated, he’s a dude with a cat, nomad, and “Liver of Life.”